He didn’t call. That’s all.

A lack of qualifications in digital electronics has not prevented WOE knowing that staring at your phone will not make someone contact you. While some women (and men) see this as a good time to slink away with their dignity intact, there are many who see it as a sign that they should in fact increase contact attempts. Somehow, they imagine, he must have forgotten. Just like that. How did that happen? Oh, that’s it: he had such a good time he lost his mind and got early onset Alzheimers. See where I’m headed. Don’t make me hit you over the head with it.One acquaintance of WOE’s could not believe that she was not getting a second date. Her response was to invoke the Law of What Only Happens in Movies, as a get out clause. In this case she decided something terrible must have happened to him or his loved ones to prevent him calling her.

The chances that he, like Deborah Kerr in An Affair to Remember, had been knocked over and was now languishing on a trolley in a hospital corridor could be safely said to be pretty much nil.

There are many reasons why an initial meeting seemingly packed full of the essential must-haves – laughter, sex, mutual love of cats – may not lead to another. Usually there is no reason. But if you want one, any of these will do the job:

He suddenly remembers he’s married

His girlfriend is back from holiday tomorrow

His mate told him you were a good lay so he wanted to get some

He’s testing the market to see what else is out there

You’re not his type

You are his type

He decided he was a bastard and you would be too nice

He lost your phone number (nah only messing. They never do if they’re interested.)

He figured he’d get laid and he did. Job done.

Look, it was one date. Maybe it was a couple more but it still wasn’t anymore than a tryout, a tasting session, an audition. And remember you were also auditioning them. Sometimes in life, shit happens, but this isn’t shit: it’s just dating.


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