Should older women date? (Should they even go out?)

On Salon they do quite a good line in relationship patter. There is this one article about a woman (aged 58) who went on for a year. Her view is it’s the bravest thing she’s done. Anyway, she talks about how it’s impossible for Women Of A Certain Age to actually get a look in, which I think is true. If I were to put my actual age down on a dating site (if I went on dating sites since I hate them) I suspect I would be totally ignored. Yet, by some miracle or perhaps because I walk down streets not populated by hot young babes, (yes I pick those streets on purpose and I am not telling you where they are, they’re mine) I still manage to get lusty looks and sideways glances, not to mention smiles, in real life. Online, the number of your age matters. Offline, it’s all about something else altogether, both tangible and intangible.  I suspect that many people who are together now and have been for years may not have got together if they’d put their particulars online.

The comments at the end of this article are not anything special. By that I mean they are totally predictable and only confirm what I’ve just said: many of the men regard a woman of forty-something ‘over the hill’. On paper. The most curious thing about reading this is the absolute nature of the comments. There is no margin for doubt or contemplation: a woman past 35 is on her way to death. The inference is that she should not even be there, but should be hidden away, preferably in a convent somewhere while her male generational counterparts, continue their marauding ways with younger females.

The online world is built on a perfect male fantasy of endless choice and no barriers to any of it. All those women are there not for anyone else but for him. Him alone. Offline he is a fat, snoring, flaccid, impotent bloke. Online he is king of the world.


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