Ok this is one I don’t know the answer to. I really don’t. Anyway it all started when I tuned in to the plethora of articles about feminism, specifically what appears to be the resurrection of feminism amongst younger women. Like feminism before it, this latest wave has several degrees of interpretation, some intelligent, some inaccessibly militant, some just boring. We can however safely assume that many women who call themselves feminists are aiming for greater equality amongst the sexes and a less subservient position for women, both real and perceived.
So anyway, I was thinking about the whole dating thing (because even if you are over forty-five you still think about its absurdities) and in particular, the oft stated advice for women to play hard to get. Or to put it another way, “Never call him first, but wait for him to call.” So here’s the thing. You go on a date, first date. It goes well. It goes better than well and he expresses the desire to see you again. But your friends – equally bright and ambitious women – have told you not to call him. This is because if you do he will lose interest.
So you play the game. You don’t call but meanwhile your girl emotions have not remembered that you are a feminist with a first class degree and a bright ass kicking career ahead of you. Instead they are pinging around in your head like stray buckshot, worrying, wishing and hoping he will call. We’ve all been there. When he does call (if?) you follow the textbook and play it cool even though you want to speak with a smile. But you don’t as that might make you look too interested. And then he will be disinterested.
So here’s my question: Are you simply playing him at his own game or are you following his agenda and acknowledging the male need to hunt? Is that a feminist thing to do? Or is it only feminist if you genuinely don’t care? Do let me know.