Almost, quite, nearly, slightly. Married.

No stranger to the attached amour herself, WOE believes that many otherwise intelligent women lose the plot when it comes to married men. The one key fact to remember about a married man is that he is married. Nothing else matters.

He of course is only, slightly married. And he believes it. It’s like he woke up one morning and whoops, a wife! What he’s actually doing now is trying to figure out how that happened so please, don’t write him off yet because he’s available. He just has to work out how he ended up there and then he’ll be with you.

Don’t kid yourself:You might share bodily fluids but the chances that you will ever share an electricity bill are slim. The married man does not intend for you to be anything but a diversion.

“But he loves me,” you say.

Yes that may well be. WOE does not dispute this. But aside from the fact that men will say silly things when a woman is bending over naked in front of them, they are quite capable of having feelings for many women at once.

So he could very well love you but it isn’t the kind of love that will see you become his next wife. He’s already put his money down in that department so the role of “the one at home who has my children” is taken. Men being what they are, there are cameo roles available. This is of course not a problem unless you have only ever wanted the starring role.

You have commitment but it’s the commitment of waiting for him to call and arrange a meeting of a few hours where you can kid yourself you feel wanted and loved. But it’s worse than that: it’s got so that you are grateful he has made time for you which is just so damn sad. He’s getting to have his cake and eat it and you, are probably giving yours away for a few cheap Indian meals and some mediocre white wine.

Glamorous scenarios involving airline tickets and five star hotels are rare and ultimately, even they end in tears. Emotions cannot be suppressed by a shopping spree at Prada. Not for long anyway.You keep telling yourself that if something else comes along, something real, you will stop.

The way it usually works is that you have to stop playing at it. Life knows when we’re ready; believe WOE when she says it really does.

For a young woman living out her Daddy complex or an older woman living the world on her terms, the married man may have his purposes, albeit limited. Otherwise WOE suggests  you stop waiting for the bus that will never come and just get the first one out of there.

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