New Year. Take a ticket, get in line.

As we approach the compulsory fun fest and long night of soggy kisses and regret  known as New Year’s Eve we can safely say there is one certainty above all others, that a flood of self-development advice will surface even while the broken glass is being swept up.

But who waits for January 1? As sure as Christmas starts in August, the torrent of self-improvement articles are already in circulation, taking the gloss off what is almost certain to be an average New Year’s Eve for most people, save for those teenagers getting their first taste of those bits of another’s flesh yet to be explored. And inevitably, there are those who take this pursuit of a better self seriously, in fact they do so every year which raises all sorts of questions about why it hasn’t already worked.

If, like me, you don’t make the necessary self-development preparations, you still have to cope with those other people who seem to have it all worked out and gazetted. You know they have because they approach you in a highly agitated state which they perceive to be positive and assertive:


them .
 You wish you had the nerve to utter it so confidently. You wish you could just say it was your month. But while you’ve been trying to work out how to claim your rightful place in the sun, you have missed out.

Already far too many people have told you it is their year this year. They have got in first. With so many people already laying claim to 2013 being the ‘best year ever’ there is very little place left for you. There can only be a finite number of people having a good year at any one time. And it’s not going to be you because you didn’t plan it.

You can’t see where you fit in. 2013 has barely begun and already it has no room for you. Everyone else has these elaborate and detailed plans and you a scrabbling for an entry ticket. Like high school graduates attempting to get into university you hope for some kind of clearing house where unused claims on 2013 have been dumped, perhaps by high flyers who have decided to go off grid and therefore do not count. Perhaps you can pick up a ticket from a divorce statistic.  January is a big month for divorce and unless you’re the lawyer involved, it will not be your year.

You begin to panic. You now have a whole year to wait through until you can begin the claim for 2014 as your year. 2013 is already ruined. Next year, you tell yourself, you will have a plan.

Happy New Year.


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