Ask, don’t always get.

Call me old fashioned but I don’t really consider “Do you like anal?” a great question and definitely not a first date discussion.. This does not seem to stop some men who feel that the initial process of getting to know someone should include a discussion of the full sexual smorgasbord.

Experience suggests sexual acts happen organically because you are with the right person to enjoy it. A particular dislike is men who believe in the right to a blow job almost as soon as you meet them. You know the deal: barely have you had time to assess their kissing technique – and thus determine whether you want to find out more – and they will utter those poetic words, “I’d really like you to suck my dick.” In WOE’s view a blow job is an act that requires dedication and attention to detail. Of all sexual acts, it’s the one WOE considers to be the most giving. Thus, it is something that indicates you are really into him. Good ones, anyway. A half-hearted blow job is not worth doing.

It is not part of a reciprocal arrangement. WOE once had a date who performed oral sex on her and then said expectantly, “I thought you’d go down on me.” WOE informed him that it was one of the most  wonderful things you could do for a man, even more so than knitting him a scarf. She pointed out that since he would certainly not expect to receive a hand-knitted woollen item at this early stage, there was no reason for him to expect her to conduct an intimate workshop with his dick.

There will always be men who think that just because you want to have sex, you want everything, all at once. Give freely by all means – but only if and when you want to.


2 comments for “Ask, don’t always get.

  1. Leo K.
    June 17, 2015 at 09:35

    And by the same standard, WOE, having performed* a blowjob would not wait expectantly for her date to reciprocate?

    “Do you like anal?” – A gentleman should ask whether a lady has performed anal before asking whether or not she likes it. One step at a time.

    * Because you make it sound like it’s a performance. Otherwise I’d have used the word, “given”.

    • woe
      June 18, 2015 at 07:56

      Hello Leo,

      1. Well, first do accept the jocular tone of the piece.
      2. No, WOE does not do sex by numbers and certainly would not. It’s not ‘this for that.’ It is a giving thing. And should be done in that spirit.
      2. Men should refrain from asking. But especially when It’s early days. It’s simply rude. I don’t think too many questions about anything on the second or third date is very clever. But certainly not sex.

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